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Bobby Porter overcame many obstacles as a child, sets sights on the Air Force
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| Foster family: Bobby Porter with foster parents Edward and Betty Hoyt of Willow Lakes. (Thelma Grimes/photo.) |
Thelma Grimes/San Pedro Valley News-Sun
Benson High School graduate Bobby Porter questions why his teachers, school administrators and members of the San Pedro Family Resource Council call him a success and want to hear his life's story. He considers himself just an average teenager who has done nothing special.
But this 17-year-old has been able to keep his balance despite having to go through more than any child should ever have to.
At 9, Bobby Porter found the place he now calls home in Willow Lakes. Betty and Edward Hoyt are the two people he refers to as mom and dad. He jokes that his foster parents are not young, but in talking about his life, he is proud to have been raised by them.
Porter is a product of foster care, having been abandoned by his mother at age 3.
Porter and his younger sisters, who were 1 and 2 at the time, were abandoned by their mother. She was a heroine addict, and was later sent to prison because of her drug use.
"I never have any recollection of my mom hurting any of us," Porter said. "I guess she gave us up after she went to jail. I was never abused physically."
At first, the three children were sent to live with their grandmother in Phoenix. Without a father in the picture, the 85-year-old woman couldn't care for them, and about three years later the children were split up, put up for adoption and sent to group homes.
Porter described the group homes as crazy, saying there were about 30 or 40 boys and girls living in the home.
The second group home, where Porter lived for a year, was smaller.
"I stayed there a year and that's when mom and dad found me," he said. "And I just came here, and I've been here ever since. Coming from a group home, I was pretty loud at first. I used to love the city a lot more than the country, so it was different to come here, but I had a mom and dad again, so it was a nice change."
Betty and Edward Hoyt said Porter barely spoke when he came to live there. Edward, who was a truck driver at the time, said he didn't even meet their new foster son for about a month.
"The group home told us he understands what you say, but doesn't speak," Edward said. "So I came in one morning after being on the road, and he was sitting at the table and I said, 'who are you and what are you doing in my house? He said 'my name's Bobby Porter, and I live here.' He hasn't stopped talking ever since."
Porter is a teenager with a positive outlook on life and doesn't try to use his past experiences as an excuse. This attitude has earned plenty of attention over the years.
He was asked to be a guest speaker at the San Pedro Family Resource Council (SPFRC) annual child abuse prevention breakfast in April.
Gary Douglas, president of the SPFRC, said Porter is a good teenager, and a lot of it is a direct reflection on the care provided by the Hoyts.
"My experience with the family began many years ago," Douglas said. "They are a very loving and supportive family who expect their foster children to have high character and respect. Bobby is a very respectful, kind young man with a big heart and unending work ethic. That is a direct reflection of the foster family."
While Porter gave a lot of credit to his foster parents, Betty Hoyt said his success is because of him.
"You have to make the best of what life hands you," she said. "No matter what, we always told him we loved him, and that the only person that is important is you. We didn't do anything for him; he did it all. We gave him the tools he needed. You have to face life for what it is and go from there. Nothing is too hard to handle. Whatever it is, you overcome it."
Betty said it wasn't always easy, noting that when Porter first came to live with them he had plenty of emotional problems from having been abandoned by his mother and being in two group homes where she felt he was also abused mentally.
Betty said over the years Porter opened up about how hard it was living in group homes where other children from different backgrounds were thrown together. She said Porter was threatened and hurt, and trusting others was tough for him when he first came to live in the San Pedro Valley.
She and Edward said they were proud of Porter, noting that he has been able to overcome a lot and succeed. The couple, who take in troubled foster kids regularly, said he is a great influence on younger children who have been taken from, or lost their parents.
The Hoyts said he is the only foster teenager they have ever allowed to get a driver's license, noting they trust him immensely.
Over the years, the Hoyts said they have had 26 foster children, keep in touch with nine of them, have 13 grandchildren, and had six of them come back for Christmas.
Benson High School Principal Bryan Bullington was someone else with high praise for Porter.
"All I can say is that Bobby is a great kid," Bullington said. "His commitment to providing himself a better future has been extraordinary. Polite, respectful, hard-working, and a genuinely grateful young man."
Besides planning a future in the U.S. Air Force, Porter has also taken a giant leap forward in forgiveness. He is encouraged by his foster parents to maintain a relationship with his mother, who was released from prison last year.
Porter said his birth mom contacted him after she got out of jail. Betty Hoyt said she has explained to Porter that she understands that she is not his birth mother, she is the "second mom."
"I have told him that it's fine that I am the second mom," Betty said. "Without his first mom, there would be no Bobby."
Porter said when he saw his mom it was awkward.
"It's really weird. From 7 to now I had no contact with her," Porter said. "For me, it's like talking to some stranger. It's like if you were walking down the street and passed her, I would have had no idea it was my mom."
Asked how hard it has been to have a relationship with his birth mom who abandoned him and his sisters, Porter said he's had a good life and there is no reason to be angry.
"It's not like I have any angry feelings toward my mom; it's more awkwardness and uncomfortable," he said. "I can't forgive her, because I have nothing against her. She always goes on about how sorry she is, but I don't understand where she did anything wrong. It turns out my sister got with a pretty rich family, and I got two loving parents."
However, the teenager joked that his parents have no money, and are old. He described the two as a bad cop, good cop situation, noting his dad is laid back and his mom really enforces the rules.
"They are great parents," Porter said. "They are everything I could ever ask for. My dad is great. He's a guy I look up to and want to be like when I get to be his age. Mom, she's the greatest mom you've ever seen. Everybody views me as a huge success, I don't see it. I am a normal kid growing up with loving parents."
Porter, who was humble throughout the 40-minute interview, also took the time to thank all those who have helped him become the person he is today. Besides his parents, Porter thanked his teachers and friends for supporting him through the years in Benson.
"What I have gone through in my life has made me strong," Porter said. "It helps you gain strength for the future. I went through a lot, not a whole lot, I would say a pretty good amount when I was little. It's made me stronger and who I am now."
Porter will be leaving for the Air Force in August.
Benson High School graduate Bobby Porter questions why his teachers, school administrators and members of the San Pedro Family Resource Council call him a success and want to hear his life's story. He considers himself just an average teenager who has done nothing special.
But this 17-year-old has been able to keep his balance despite having to go through more than any child should ever have to.
At 9, Bobby Porter found the place he now calls home in Willow Lakes. Betty and Edward Hoyt are the two people he refers to as mom and dad. He jokes that his foster parents are not young, but in talking about his life, he is proud to have been raised by them.
Porter is a product of foster care, having been abandoned by his mother at age 3.
Porter and his younger sisters, who were 1 and 2 at the time, were abandoned by their mother. She was a heroine addict, and was later sent to prison because of her drug use.
"I never have any recollection of my mom hurting any of us," Porter said. "I guess she gave us up after she went to jail. I was never abused physically."
At first, the three children were sent to live with their grandmother in Phoenix. Without a father in the picture, the 85-year-old woman couldn't care for them, and about three years later the children were split up, put up for adoption and sent to group homes.
Porter described the group homes as crazy, saying there were about 30 or 40 boys and girls living in the home.
The second group home, where Porter lived for a year, was smaller.
"I stayed there a year and that's when mom and dad found me," he said. "And I just came here, and I've been here ever since. Coming from a group home, I was pretty loud at first. I used to love the city a lot more than the country, so it was different to come here, but I had a mom and dad again, so it was a nice change."
Betty and Edward Hoyt said Porter barely spoke when he came to live there. Edward, who was a truck driver at the time, said he didn't even meet their new foster son for about a month.
"The group home told us he understands what you say, but doesn't speak," Edward said. "So I came in one morning after being on the road, and he was sitting at the table and I said, 'who are you and what are you doing in my house? He said 'my name's Bobby Porter, and I live here.' He hasn't stopped talking ever since."
Porter is a teenager with a positive outlook on life and doesn't try to use his past experiences as an excuse. This attitude has earned plenty of attention over the years.
He was asked to be a guest speaker at the San Pedro Family Resource Council (SPFRC) annual child abuse prevention breakfast in April.
Gary Douglas, president of the SPFRC, said Porter is a good teenager, and a lot of it is a direct reflection on the care provided by the Hoyts.
"My experience with the family began many years ago," Douglas said. "They are a very loving and supportive family who expect their foster children to have high character and respect. Bobby is a very respectful, kind young man with a big heart and unending work ethic. That is a direct reflection of the foster family."
While Porter gave a lot of credit to his foster parents, Betty Hoyt said his success is because of him.
"You have to make the best of what life hands you," she said. "No matter what, we always told him we loved him, and that the only person that is important is you. We didn't do anything for him; he did it all. We gave him the tools he needed. You have to face life for what it is and go from there. Nothing is too hard to handle. Whatever it is, you overcome it."
Betty said it wasn't always easy, noting that when Porter first came to live with them he had plenty of emotional problems from having been abandoned by his mother and being in two group homes where she felt he was also abused mentally.
Betty said over the years Porter opened up about how hard it was living in group homes where other children from different backgrounds were thrown together. She said Porter was threatened and hurt, and trusting others was tough for him when he first came to live in the San Pedro Valley.
She and Edward said they were proud of Porter, noting that he has been able to overcome a lot and succeed. The couple, who take in troubled foster kids regularly, said he is a great influence on younger children who have been taken from, or lost their parents.
The Hoyts said he is the only foster teenager they have ever allowed to get a driver's license, noting they trust him immensely.
Over the years, the Hoyts said they have had 26 foster children, keep in touch with nine of them, have 13 grandchildren, and had six of them come back for Christmas.
Benson High School Principal Bryan Bullington was someone else with high praise for Porter.
"All I can say is that Bobby is a great kid," Bullington said. "His commitment to providing himself a better future has been extraordinary. Polite, respectful, hard-working, and a genuinely grateful young man."
Besides planning a future in the U.S. Air Force, Porter has also taken a giant leap forward in forgiveness. He is encouraged by his foster parents to maintain a relationship with his mother, who was released from prison last year.
Porter said his birth mom contacted him after she got out of jail. Betty Hoyt said she has explained to Porter that she understands that she is not his birth mother, she is the "second mom."
"I have told him that it's fine that I am the second mom," Betty said. "Without his first mom, there would be no Bobby."
Porter said when he saw his mom it was awkward.
"It's really weird. From 7 to now I had no contact with her," Porter said. "For me, it's like talking to some stranger. It's like if you were walking down the street and passed her, I would have had no idea it was my mom."
Asked how hard it has been to have a relationship with his birth mom who abandoned him and his sisters, Porter said he's had a good life and there is no reason to be angry.
"It's not like I have any angry feelings toward my mom; it's more awkwardness and uncomfortable," he said. "I can't forgive her, because I have nothing against her. She always goes on about how sorry she is, but I don't understand where she did anything wrong. It turns out my sister got with a pretty rich family, and I got two loving parents."
However, the teenager joked that his parents have no money, and are old. He described the two as a bad cop, good cop situation, noting his dad is laid back and his mom really enforces the rules.
"They are great parents," Porter said. "They are everything I could ever ask for. My dad is great. He's a guy I look up to and want to be like when I get to be his age. Mom, she's the greatest mom you've ever seen. Everybody views me as a huge success, I don't see it. I am a normal kid growing up with loving parents."
Porter, who was humble throughout the 40-minute interview, also took the time to thank all those who have helped him become the person he is today. Besides his parents, Porter thanked his teachers and friends for supporting him through the years in Benson.
"What I have gone through in my life has made me strong," Porter said. "It helps you gain strength for the future. I went through a lot, not a whole lot, I would say a pretty good amount when I was little. It's made me stronger and who I am now."
Porter will be leaving for the Air Force in August.
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