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SPECIAL REPORT ON TEEN SEX: Unprotected sex leads to unplanned future for teen
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| New life: This Benson High School senior-to-be is about to have another title - Mom. (Thelma Grimes/Photo.) |
Thelma Grimes/San Pedro Valley News-Sun
In a matter of days, a new baby girl will be placed in the unsure arms of a 17-year-old teen mother.
Once worried about athletics and homework, this Benson High School student spent the better part of her junior year planning to become a mother, being judged by fellow students, teachers and the community and answering tough questions about the future.
"I found out I was pregnant when my mom asked me if I was, and I took a test" she said. "It was the hardest month, because my parents were so disappointed. It will never be the same after you find out you are pregnant."
Her mom agreed. When she found out her daughter was pregnant, disappointment and shock was her reaction.
"I was heartbroken," said the tearful mother. "I guess you could say I still am. She doesn't realize all she has given up. She doesn't realize that she's going to have to be home taking care of a baby while her teenage friends are out having fun."
The soon-to-be teen mom is due in less than a week, and will be living with her parents to raise the baby.
When she first found out she was pregnant, the 17-year-old said everything was going through her head. She had to decide what to do with the baby, whether or not to stay in school and how to come to terms with the consequences of her actions.
"Staying in school was hard because there were so many rumors and so many people talking. You know Benson; there's one story and it changes from one thing to another, and no one actually asks you," she said. "It was hard at school because when I started showing, people quit looking at my face and just started staring at my stomach."
With a senior boyfriend, the soon-to-be teen mom said it was easier to stay in school with his support. But, she admitted that both of them realized the mistake they had made when she became pregnant from having unprotected sex.
According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, approximately one million teenagers in the U.S. will become pregnant in the next year, and 95 percent of those will be unintended. Of those, one-third will end in miscarriage, one-third in abortion and one-third of the teenagers will decide to keep and raise the baby.
The two Benson teenagers decided to keep and raise the baby.
"Your whole life will never be the same. When you find out, every thought crosses your mind, because your whole life is changing," she said. "I thought about abortion, but I didn't even think about adoption because I knew I would get attached. The father and I just talked about it, and we just decided that keeping her would be something we should do together, and we didn't want to make a life-regretting decision."
But this local teen admitted that plenty of fears come with the decision to take on what will essentially become a life-long job, and she knows the challenges that lie ahead are going to be tough.
"I'm pretty nervous just because I can barely take care of myself, and now I have to take care of a little kid. It will be all right because I have my mom there; that's what has calmed me down the most," she said.
Stating many times throughout the interview that having a baby is a life-changing experience, this would-be senior will miss her last year of high school. She took advanced classes in her junior year, and worked throughout the summer to meet the credit requirements to graduate early. With ambitions to go into cosmetology, she said there are still too many unknowns that worry her.
With the father leaving for college, she said, "I live at home now and I don't have to pay bills, but what if later on down the road I can't feed us and support us if I moved out? The father is going to be gone for four years. It's just really hard to think about all of it."
When it comes to taking responsibility for her actions, the 17-year-old said she now understands the message being sent in sex education classes over the years, and now wishes she had used protection.
While she is not advocating abstinence in teenagers, she is telling them to take precautions.
"I really think it's their decision to have sex. If they think they are ready, then they are ready," she said. "You just need to remember you have so much time to grow up. Have fun. Use protection because one little incident can end up changing your entire life. Just look at mine. Use more than one. Use birth control and condemns. Use it all."
The teenager also urged teenagers to be more open with parents, and for parents to get more involved. She admitted that her parents had suspicions, but didn't ask or know she was sexually active, something she became at age 15.
"A lot of parents don't talk to their kids about it. I'm open with my mom and dad now, but I didn't talk to them," she said. "No one wants their kid to be growing up too fast like that, but so many kids go out to parties, have sex, and their parents don't even know."
Her mom agreed, stating that she didn't think her daughter had the time to get pregnant, with sports and school. She had a strict curfew and while at home with a boy, her room could not be closed. However, this mom said all parents need to realize that their children can have sex during the day or at night.
"My advice to all parents is just that if you don't think your kid will or is doing anything, think again," she said. "Make sure you talk to them, and if they are having sex, get them on birth control. I can't say it enough, talk to them."
While her mom is disappointed, she said she will be helping her daughter, because like it or not, in days there will be a new baby in the world, and she will have a 17-year-old mother who is excited, but at the same time has no idea what is in store as parenting takes over her life.
Teen sex habits a mirror to society and mainstream media
Thelma Grimes/San Pedro Valley News-Sun
A local high school senior said she believes that there are more students having sex than there are virgins.
"Sex is a common thing now," said the 17-year-old. "There are actually more people in high school now that are not virgins than there are virgins. People do it to fit in. Once someone does it, then someone else has to. A lot of girls will brag that they were with an upperclassman."
A common theme among some teenagers at the local high schools is that when a younger girl has sex with an upperclassman, it makes her more popular. Several teenagers said this is the case, noting that that's why they started having sex.
Times continue to change. At one time, even as little as five or 10 years ago, teenage girls were less aggressive, but as one senior stated, that's not as much the case anymore. Some girls are the one initiating it now.
This also means that more teenage girls are having sex with multiple partners throughout their high school careers. One Benson High School student said she started having sex at 15, and has had three different partners, all upperclassmen, since then.
Another change is how society views a pregnant teenager. At one time, a pregnant girl was practically sent into exile, and going to school was not an option. They either quit, or went to alternative school. However, now, throughout her junior year, one 17-year-old said she stayed in school and while she drew plenty of stares, the teachers and staff did everything they could to help her get her education.
So why the change in how teenagers view sex and pregnancy? Why is being sexually active no big deal anymore?
David Woodall, superintendent of the Benson School District, said times have definitely changed when it comes to how teenagers view sex. Over a 20-year span, he said sex has gone from being a big deal to being something more and more teenagers are just doing.
One of the causes of that may be the mainstream media.
"How teenagers are acting today is just a mirror of what is taking place in society," Woodall said. "Look at the subjects in commercials, television and music. I don't think teens have changed; you turn on your television, and sexual innuendo is everywhere."
Asked if sex is a big deal, Ryan Bias, a 15-year-old now entering high school, said "No, why would it be? I see it in movies and it's in music. It's just everywhere, and everyone is always talking about it."
Brooke Boegemann, the outgoing student body president at Benson High School, said Woodall is correct, and the media's nonchalant portrayal of sex makes it less and less important. Students are no longer saving themselves, they are just doing it.
"I definitely think teenagers don't take sex as seriously as they use to," she said. "It's no longer this gift from God, it's just something you do. It's not even with certain clicks anymore. All groups are doing it. I would say just in my group of friends I am one of the few who haven't."
Besides sexual content being in everyday commercials, television shows are also getting racier. One of those shows is aimed at teenagers, and highlights not only sex, but teen pregnancy.
"The Secret Life of the American Teenager" airs weekly on ABC family. It started under the premise of highlighting the struggles of a 15-year-old good girl who became pregnant after having sex at a summer camp, and has transitioned into a lot more in its two seasons.
Critics of the show have questioned how much sex is in it. The show's main character is a teenager in a love triangle between the father of her baby and another student. Other characters include a promiscuous teenager with multiple sex partners, a recently divorced mother pregnant with another man's baby and a young cheerleader who started out as the good girl wanting to remain a virgin but was talked into having sex by her boyfriend, the school's star football player.
The show's ratings remain high with a big draw of young teenage girls, and it has stuck to its sex-filled theme for two full seasons.
A study conducted by Rand Health said the average American teenager watches three hours of television per day, and nearly 50 percent of all teenagers are sexually active.
Calvin Baker, superintendent of the larger Vail School District, said he doesn't want to make generalizations, because there are still plenty of teenagers making the right decisions when it comes to sex, but at the same time it is a growing problem.
"There is no doubt that the major media, including television, movies and music bombard teen-agers with the very strong verbal and visual message that casual sex is absolutely normal and free of any concerns regarding unwanted pregnancies or STDs," he said. "Unfortunately, it is an easy out for some teenagers to accept that fantasy. Others do a great job of being mature, respecting the dangers and acting responsibly."
Kate Mueller, superintendent of the St. David School District, said besides television, movies and music, there is so much more at teenagers' fingertips, including the world wide web and cell phone texting has become very popular.
Texting between teenagers has dramatically increased over the last year, and with teenagers getting more daring, the term "sexting" has already come into play.
Signs of risky behavior
* Teens who smoke are more likely to drink alcohol and use drugs.
* Teens who drink alcohol and use drugs are more likely to have sex.
* Teens who drink are seven times more likely than teens who don't to have had sex.
* Teens who use drugs are five times more likely to have had sex.
* One in four teens say they were drinking or doing drugs the last time they had sex.
Unprotected sex has more dangers than just pregnancy
Thelma Grimes/San Pedro Valley News-Sun
While a teenage girl or boy may be physically ready to have sexual intercourse, many studies show that few are prepared emotionally.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy said 47 percent of all high school students have already had sex. The majority of sexually experienced teen females first have sex with a partner that is one to three years older.
As the number of sexually active teenagers goes up, so does the number of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. According to statistics provided by www.4parents.gov, nearly one out of every three teen girls who has sex has been pregnant while still in their teens, and one out of every eight boys will get a girl pregnant. As teens and young adults increase the number of sex partners they have, 50 percent of them are estimated to get a new sexually transmitted disease (STD) each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) there are 19 million new STD cases every year. Of that, nearly 50 percent of the cases infect young people between the ages of 15 and 24.
Making it worse, the American Social Health Association reports that half of all new HIV infections occur in teenagers.
The CDC has stated that these alarming statistics could be reduced if teenagers were properly educated, beginning at home.
A local mother who will become a grandmother in a matter of days said parents need to face reality, and not go by the assumption that their child isn't doing anything wrong.
Tearfully, this mother talked about her disappointment when she found out her 17-year-old daughter had unprotected sex and got pregnant.
Besides STDs, the U.S. also leads the world in the number of unplanned pregnancies. It is predicted that one million teenage girls will become pregnant within the next 12 months, and 95 percent of those are unplanned.
The mother admitted she hadn't talked to her daughter, didn't know she was sexually active, and went under the assumption that with school and sports and a strict curfew, she didn't have time to have sex.
This Benson mom said if she could give any advice to other parents, it would be to talk to their kids, to realize that teenagers don't just have sex at night; they can get pregnant and contract an STD during the daytime just as easy. Teenagers will find a place and time to have sex, she said.
Locally, besides talking to parents, teenagers have other outlets. The Cochise County Health Department on 5th Street offers a number of programs that provide teenagers with privacy while assisting them.
As part of family planning clinics, the health department offers contraception counseling and methods. While the clinic is not free to all, teenagers and individuals who fall below the federal poverty line are not required to pay.
For more information, call the health department at 586-8200.
Other services provided by the health department include birth control, STD testing and much more for teenagers and adults.
Info
Cochise County Health Department offers Family Planning Health Clinics and other services to prevent STDs and teen pregnancy.
Call 586-8200 for information.
Assistance for parents
Some Web sites for parents to find help include:
www.4parents.gov
www.parentdish.com
www.stayteen.org
www.womenshealth.gov
www.thenationalcampaign.org
Teen sex statistics
* The U.S. has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Arizona is ranked second among all states.
* Nearly 47 percent of all high school students have had sex. A high percentage of those regret their first time.
* Most teens have sex for the first time by the time they are 17.
* Many teen girls lose their virginity to a partner that is 1-3 years their senior.
* One in four teens say they were drinking or doing drugs the last time they had sex.
In a matter of days, a new baby girl will be placed in the unsure arms of a 17-year-old teen mother.
Once worried about athletics and homework, this Benson High School student spent the better part of her junior year planning to become a mother, being judged by fellow students, teachers and the community and answering tough questions about the future.
"I found out I was pregnant when my mom asked me if I was, and I took a test" she said. "It was the hardest month, because my parents were so disappointed. It will never be the same after you find out you are pregnant."
Her mom agreed. When she found out her daughter was pregnant, disappointment and shock was her reaction.
"I was heartbroken," said the tearful mother. "I guess you could say I still am. She doesn't realize all she has given up. She doesn't realize that she's going to have to be home taking care of a baby while her teenage friends are out having fun."
The soon-to-be teen mom is due in less than a week, and will be living with her parents to raise the baby.
When she first found out she was pregnant, the 17-year-old said everything was going through her head. She had to decide what to do with the baby, whether or not to stay in school and how to come to terms with the consequences of her actions.
"Staying in school was hard because there were so many rumors and so many people talking. You know Benson; there's one story and it changes from one thing to another, and no one actually asks you," she said. "It was hard at school because when I started showing, people quit looking at my face and just started staring at my stomach."
With a senior boyfriend, the soon-to-be teen mom said it was easier to stay in school with his support. But, she admitted that both of them realized the mistake they had made when she became pregnant from having unprotected sex.
According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, approximately one million teenagers in the U.S. will become pregnant in the next year, and 95 percent of those will be unintended. Of those, one-third will end in miscarriage, one-third in abortion and one-third of the teenagers will decide to keep and raise the baby.
The two Benson teenagers decided to keep and raise the baby.
"Your whole life will never be the same. When you find out, every thought crosses your mind, because your whole life is changing," she said. "I thought about abortion, but I didn't even think about adoption because I knew I would get attached. The father and I just talked about it, and we just decided that keeping her would be something we should do together, and we didn't want to make a life-regretting decision."
But this local teen admitted that plenty of fears come with the decision to take on what will essentially become a life-long job, and she knows the challenges that lie ahead are going to be tough.
"I'm pretty nervous just because I can barely take care of myself, and now I have to take care of a little kid. It will be all right because I have my mom there; that's what has calmed me down the most," she said.
Stating many times throughout the interview that having a baby is a life-changing experience, this would-be senior will miss her last year of high school. She took advanced classes in her junior year, and worked throughout the summer to meet the credit requirements to graduate early. With ambitions to go into cosmetology, she said there are still too many unknowns that worry her.
With the father leaving for college, she said, "I live at home now and I don't have to pay bills, but what if later on down the road I can't feed us and support us if I moved out? The father is going to be gone for four years. It's just really hard to think about all of it."
When it comes to taking responsibility for her actions, the 17-year-old said she now understands the message being sent in sex education classes over the years, and now wishes she had used protection.
While she is not advocating abstinence in teenagers, she is telling them to take precautions.
"I really think it's their decision to have sex. If they think they are ready, then they are ready," she said. "You just need to remember you have so much time to grow up. Have fun. Use protection because one little incident can end up changing your entire life. Just look at mine. Use more than one. Use birth control and condemns. Use it all."
The teenager also urged teenagers to be more open with parents, and for parents to get more involved. She admitted that her parents had suspicions, but didn't ask or know she was sexually active, something she became at age 15.
"A lot of parents don't talk to their kids about it. I'm open with my mom and dad now, but I didn't talk to them," she said. "No one wants their kid to be growing up too fast like that, but so many kids go out to parties, have sex, and their parents don't even know."
Her mom agreed, stating that she didn't think her daughter had the time to get pregnant, with sports and school. She had a strict curfew and while at home with a boy, her room could not be closed. However, this mom said all parents need to realize that their children can have sex during the day or at night.
"My advice to all parents is just that if you don't think your kid will or is doing anything, think again," she said. "Make sure you talk to them, and if they are having sex, get them on birth control. I can't say it enough, talk to them."
While her mom is disappointed, she said she will be helping her daughter, because like it or not, in days there will be a new baby in the world, and she will have a 17-year-old mother who is excited, but at the same time has no idea what is in store as parenting takes over her life.
Teen sex habits a mirror to society and mainstream media
Thelma Grimes/San Pedro Valley News-Sun
A local high school senior said she believes that there are more students having sex than there are virgins.
"Sex is a common thing now," said the 17-year-old. "There are actually more people in high school now that are not virgins than there are virgins. People do it to fit in. Once someone does it, then someone else has to. A lot of girls will brag that they were with an upperclassman."
A common theme among some teenagers at the local high schools is that when a younger girl has sex with an upperclassman, it makes her more popular. Several teenagers said this is the case, noting that that's why they started having sex.
Times continue to change. At one time, even as little as five or 10 years ago, teenage girls were less aggressive, but as one senior stated, that's not as much the case anymore. Some girls are the one initiating it now.
This also means that more teenage girls are having sex with multiple partners throughout their high school careers. One Benson High School student said she started having sex at 15, and has had three different partners, all upperclassmen, since then.
Another change is how society views a pregnant teenager. At one time, a pregnant girl was practically sent into exile, and going to school was not an option. They either quit, or went to alternative school. However, now, throughout her junior year, one 17-year-old said she stayed in school and while she drew plenty of stares, the teachers and staff did everything they could to help her get her education.
So why the change in how teenagers view sex and pregnancy? Why is being sexually active no big deal anymore?
David Woodall, superintendent of the Benson School District, said times have definitely changed when it comes to how teenagers view sex. Over a 20-year span, he said sex has gone from being a big deal to being something more and more teenagers are just doing.
One of the causes of that may be the mainstream media.
"How teenagers are acting today is just a mirror of what is taking place in society," Woodall said. "Look at the subjects in commercials, television and music. I don't think teens have changed; you turn on your television, and sexual innuendo is everywhere."
Asked if sex is a big deal, Ryan Bias, a 15-year-old now entering high school, said "No, why would it be? I see it in movies and it's in music. It's just everywhere, and everyone is always talking about it."
Brooke Boegemann, the outgoing student body president at Benson High School, said Woodall is correct, and the media's nonchalant portrayal of sex makes it less and less important. Students are no longer saving themselves, they are just doing it.
"I definitely think teenagers don't take sex as seriously as they use to," she said. "It's no longer this gift from God, it's just something you do. It's not even with certain clicks anymore. All groups are doing it. I would say just in my group of friends I am one of the few who haven't."
Besides sexual content being in everyday commercials, television shows are also getting racier. One of those shows is aimed at teenagers, and highlights not only sex, but teen pregnancy.
"The Secret Life of the American Teenager" airs weekly on ABC family. It started under the premise of highlighting the struggles of a 15-year-old good girl who became pregnant after having sex at a summer camp, and has transitioned into a lot more in its two seasons.
Critics of the show have questioned how much sex is in it. The show's main character is a teenager in a love triangle between the father of her baby and another student. Other characters include a promiscuous teenager with multiple sex partners, a recently divorced mother pregnant with another man's baby and a young cheerleader who started out as the good girl wanting to remain a virgin but was talked into having sex by her boyfriend, the school's star football player.
The show's ratings remain high with a big draw of young teenage girls, and it has stuck to its sex-filled theme for two full seasons.
A study conducted by Rand Health said the average American teenager watches three hours of television per day, and nearly 50 percent of all teenagers are sexually active.
Calvin Baker, superintendent of the larger Vail School District, said he doesn't want to make generalizations, because there are still plenty of teenagers making the right decisions when it comes to sex, but at the same time it is a growing problem.
"There is no doubt that the major media, including television, movies and music bombard teen-agers with the very strong verbal and visual message that casual sex is absolutely normal and free of any concerns regarding unwanted pregnancies or STDs," he said. "Unfortunately, it is an easy out for some teenagers to accept that fantasy. Others do a great job of being mature, respecting the dangers and acting responsibly."
Kate Mueller, superintendent of the St. David School District, said besides television, movies and music, there is so much more at teenagers' fingertips, including the world wide web and cell phone texting has become very popular.
Texting between teenagers has dramatically increased over the last year, and with teenagers getting more daring, the term "sexting" has already come into play.
Signs of risky behavior
* Teens who smoke are more likely to drink alcohol and use drugs.
* Teens who drink alcohol and use drugs are more likely to have sex.
* Teens who drink are seven times more likely than teens who don't to have had sex.
* Teens who use drugs are five times more likely to have had sex.
* One in four teens say they were drinking or doing drugs the last time they had sex.
Unprotected sex has more dangers than just pregnancy
Thelma Grimes/San Pedro Valley News-Sun
While a teenage girl or boy may be physically ready to have sexual intercourse, many studies show that few are prepared emotionally.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy said 47 percent of all high school students have already had sex. The majority of sexually experienced teen females first have sex with a partner that is one to three years older.
As the number of sexually active teenagers goes up, so does the number of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. According to statistics provided by www.4parents.gov, nearly one out of every three teen girls who has sex has been pregnant while still in their teens, and one out of every eight boys will get a girl pregnant. As teens and young adults increase the number of sex partners they have, 50 percent of them are estimated to get a new sexually transmitted disease (STD) each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) there are 19 million new STD cases every year. Of that, nearly 50 percent of the cases infect young people between the ages of 15 and 24.
Making it worse, the American Social Health Association reports that half of all new HIV infections occur in teenagers.
The CDC has stated that these alarming statistics could be reduced if teenagers were properly educated, beginning at home.
A local mother who will become a grandmother in a matter of days said parents need to face reality, and not go by the assumption that their child isn't doing anything wrong.
Tearfully, this mother talked about her disappointment when she found out her 17-year-old daughter had unprotected sex and got pregnant.
Besides STDs, the U.S. also leads the world in the number of unplanned pregnancies. It is predicted that one million teenage girls will become pregnant within the next 12 months, and 95 percent of those are unplanned.
The mother admitted she hadn't talked to her daughter, didn't know she was sexually active, and went under the assumption that with school and sports and a strict curfew, she didn't have time to have sex.
This Benson mom said if she could give any advice to other parents, it would be to talk to their kids, to realize that teenagers don't just have sex at night; they can get pregnant and contract an STD during the daytime just as easy. Teenagers will find a place and time to have sex, she said.
Locally, besides talking to parents, teenagers have other outlets. The Cochise County Health Department on 5th Street offers a number of programs that provide teenagers with privacy while assisting them.
As part of family planning clinics, the health department offers contraception counseling and methods. While the clinic is not free to all, teenagers and individuals who fall below the federal poverty line are not required to pay.
For more information, call the health department at 586-8200.
Other services provided by the health department include birth control, STD testing and much more for teenagers and adults.
Info
Cochise County Health Department offers Family Planning Health Clinics and other services to prevent STDs and teen pregnancy.
Call 586-8200 for information.
Assistance for parents
Some Web sites for parents to find help include:
www.4parents.gov
www.parentdish.com
www.stayteen.org
www.womenshealth.gov
www.thenationalcampaign.org
Teen sex statistics
* The U.S. has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Arizona is ranked second among all states.
* Nearly 47 percent of all high school students have had sex. A high percentage of those regret their first time.
* Most teens have sex for the first time by the time they are 17.
* Many teen girls lose their virginity to a partner that is 1-3 years their senior.
* One in four teens say they were drinking or doing drugs the last time they had sex.
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| Students making the grade, AIMS scores show | Charges, bond set in Benson burglaries |
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Reader Comments
The following are comments from the readers. In no way do they represent the view of bensonnews-sun.com.
Friend wrote on Jul 22, 2009 12:40 PM:
" Hang in there - those that gossip rarely get the facts straight just like to put others down. You will be a good mom! "
Randy wrote on Jul 23, 2009 7:33 AM:
" Wise up. The father will be gone forever, not just four years. Thelma writes like she alone made the discovery teenage sex is risky. Before long the taxpayers will be paying for her unwanted kid along with hundreds more locally. We can figure on footing the bill for both her and the kid for years. Daddy may pay some child support for a few years but make it a point to stay far away from mother and kid. Get real, this is life not some fairy tale. "
VALERIE wrote on Jul 23, 2009 12:25 PM:
" MY DAUGHTER BECAME A MOTHER AT 15 , TAKE ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET FROM YOUR YOUR PARENTS, DON'T MAKE THE FOOLISH MISTAKE OF PUTTING YOUR EDUCATION ON HOLD, CONTINUE YOUR SCHOOLING YOU CAN DO IT MY GRANDAUGHTER IS AWSOME AS A FAMILY EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE,MY DAUGHTER WENT TO BENSON HIGH THROUGH OUT HER PREGNANCY SHE MADE IT LIFE IS GOOD.TAXPAYERS DO NOT PAY FOR MY GRANDAUGHTER AND SHE IS NOT UNWANTED , SO MISTER RAND SO SORRY THAT LIFE HAS MADE YOU SUCH A SOUR SOUL "
maddog wrote on Jul 23, 2009 11:33 PM:
" Randy is not a "sour soul." He is a "realistic soul." The government (i.e., taxpayer), in its misguided effort to be "supportive," will reward this girl with food stamps, AFDC, and perhaps other welfare payments. Therefore, there is very little social stigma attached to unwed pregnancies. No wonder they are an epidemic. Whatever you reward you get more of. Part and parcel of "compassion sickness" that has eroded public and private morals over the last three decades. By rewarding it financially you get more of it. The father will disappear because the government will serve as the cuckhold. "
Tim wrote on Jul 24, 2009 1:01 AM:
" There's absolutely no reason for a girl to get pregnant who does not want to get pregnant with today's technological advances. There is also no proof that the father is going to college since the father has yet to be determined. "
Concerned Benson Parent wrote on Jul 27, 2009 11:34 AM:
" Why is this front page news? Why is this being glorified? Not everyone gives into peer pressure, not every girl is having sex to keep a boyfriend. Don't you wish you would of said NO now! Abstinence needs to brought back into the schools. Having muliple partners is the saddest thing I have ever heard, these girls aren't even considered young ladies anymore. To be strong and say NO to sex at this age is to be admired, sleeping around has it consquences. I always told my children "What you do in High School everyone will remember" "
Are you KIDDING wrote on Jul 27, 2009 11:45 AM:
" Why not show her cousin on the front page? She is the one who is accomplishing something and setting goals in life. Now we can just let Benson teens know it's cool to be pregnant and to have sex through the Benson paper. Instead of glorifying this why not start teaching them this is wrong and unacceptable at this age, start teaching abstinence at home, bring it back at school and in the community!! Just when we get the school in a better place and better people in charge, you bring this in, makes Benson " look real good!" "
self respect wrote on Jul 27, 2009 12:44 PM:
" I'm a graduate of Benson High and I went all through high school being a virgin so it's bologna that teens believe they have to have sex to fit in. I had plenty of friends and was liked by everyone even though I said NO to sex, drugs, and alcohol. You don't have to do things to fit in; just be yourself (that's what I did). I ended up falling in love and marrying the guy that I lost my virginity to and I love that because I shared something very special with him and ONLY him and very sacred that you can't get back once it's gone. In the paper it said to use birth control and protection if having sex but everyone's forgetting about the bigger more important thing; they're all just worried about "getting pregnant" and that's a worry but what about losing your virginity? Because losing your virginity comes before you can get pregnant. And your virginity is something that's special and sacred and once it's gone there's NO getting it back. It's something that should be shared with that one you truly love and spend the rest of your life with. It's also about self respect and morals for yourself. Having sex to fit in is just a lie and an excuse and not something to blame on the media, movies, TV, radio, music, etc. It's something that's being portrayed within the High School. Students are making students believe that they need to have sex, do drugs, drink to fit in. I watched what all of them did and do and listen to all that music even rap and it didn't affect me and it's not what caused me to have sex when I eventually did. You gotta know how to separate reality from "fantasy" and entertainment and It's not that hard. Blaming it on the media and all that is just a lame excuse. It just kills me to hear that there are less virgins in school now and more having sex. These teens believe that they are gaining respect by going out and having sex but really they're losing the most important respect of all and that's their SELF RESPECT!!!
And another thing I don't get is there have been other girls who were pregnant at Benson High and I never saw them have an article in the paper, so how come this girl got one? Just a question...
Well, my prayers go out to all these young teens @ Benson High and to other teen mothers and this teen mom and her family. God Bless & Good Luck. "
And another thing I don't get is there have been other girls who were pregnant at Benson High and I never saw them have an article in the paper, so how come this girl got one? Just a question...
Well, my prayers go out to all these young teens @ Benson High and to other teen mothers and this teen mom and her family. God Bless & Good Luck. "
Alumni wrote on Jul 27, 2009 1:05 PM:
" Why is this young lady bringing attention to herself? Unless that is what she is seeking? There was a student in our graduating class that got pregnant, held her head up, didn't go around blaming the media, music, nor peer pressure, she owned up to what she did and who she had sex with. I don't see a story written on her nor attention given to her. Where are your morals, your self respect? I don't think girls respect theirselves anymore, they think it's the way to fit in, have sex with multiple partners to have guys like them. When you loose your self respect and virginity what do have left? You can gain respect but you will never get your virginity back! Girls only you have the power to say NO, don't ever let a someone take that power away. "
Dragoon wrote on Jul 29, 2009 9:27 AM:
" This young lady hasn't learned a thing. She thinks that the CHILDREN, yes they are still children.... have the right to decide whether or not they are ready to have sex. Not until they turn 18, they don't. As for the Dad: He's getting off to a great start with his relationship with the child. Some advice for him. "Suck it up, and take your first two years of college at UofA south, Cochise College or do it online at any college". Going away fom school is no longer an option. Just shirking his responsibility. "
Disgusted wrote on Jul 29, 2009 2:15 PM:
" I am also wondering why this is front page news?!?! I dont feel sorry for this little girl but do feel sorry for this baby. With all of the medical devices and medications out there that are available to all who decide to become sexually active there is no excuse for getting pregnant. And there is even one for FREE.....DONT DO IT. By making this front page news I'm sure she'll soon be receiving free handouts or was that the purpose of the article? She had no means of providing for herself much less this baby. And boyfriend, yeah, he'll be gone in no time and probably wont return after he settles into the college life. And yes, why isnt Thelmas reporting on her relative who is making something of herself??? makes no sense.
I and my husband have worked very hard to be where we are with college educations, two full time jobs and a son that WE prepared for and knew we could provide unconditionally. This will just be another state welfare case and that really irritates me. It is not fair to us hard working citizens to have pay for the stupidity of community members like this. This little girl has no idea what she has gotten herself into, I would never leave my house from sheer embarrassment. This article was a total waist and it served no purpose, thanks for your great reporting thelma. "
I and my husband have worked very hard to be where we are with college educations, two full time jobs and a son that WE prepared for and knew we could provide unconditionally. This will just be another state welfare case and that really irritates me. It is not fair to us hard working citizens to have pay for the stupidity of community members like this. This little girl has no idea what she has gotten herself into, I would never leave my house from sheer embarrassment. This article was a total waist and it served no purpose, thanks for your great reporting thelma. "
Benson Alumni 09 wrote on Jul 30, 2009 6:44 PM:
" i like to eat cookies in my spare time. but other than that, sex is great. good for me. good for you. i want a kid. and to be on the front page of this newspaper.
p.s. just because you lose your virginity doesn't mean you can't find it. i lost mine and i found it the other day.... in my closet. he he. ;)
umm.... yup. well.... amen. "
p.s. just because you lose your virginity doesn't mean you can't find it. i lost mine and i found it the other day.... in my closet. he he. ;)
umm.... yup. well.... amen. "
Honestly. wrote on Jul 30, 2009 7:49 PM:
" First of all I would like to know what "sexting" is..?
Now, my friends and I graduated this past year at Benson and we wanted to share our opinions.
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I think it's quite humorous to read the opinions of these "concerned citizens." Unless you don't have a heart, you should definitely have some type of sympathy for this student. Even though she made a mistake, she's paying for it now and I personally feel pretty bad for her. I'm not a virgin and I cannot even imagine how hard it would be to have a kid. However, I do know that she's making the right decision by keeping her baby. I'm sure that half, if not all, of the rude people who posted comments have never been in her shoes. So they have no right to say how "disgusting" and "stupid" she is. On the other hand, I do believe that everyone should wait until they are married. It is a very special thing and I do know how easy it is to assume you're in love when you're really not. My advice is to not do anything when you're in high school because you're still so young and learning about yourself. I can almost guarantee that the person you "love" in high school is not the person you'll end up with in the future. Buuuuuut, if you are having sex you should definitely tell your family and use protection.
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I think that people shouldn't be judging her for getting pregnant and saying rude things about it. It was her own decision to have sex and now she has to face the consequences. She is now going to become a mom instead of getting an abortion or giving it up for adoption and I think that it is going to be hard for her but I think she can do it. I really don't think that this was her idea to write this article and I don't think that she was trying to get attention or get things from people. If others want to give her things and help her out that's their decision not yours. And just because you have sex doesn't mean you don't have self respect. I think that if you are going to have sex you should use protection and I also think you should talk and be open with your parents about it. Whatever you do your parents will always be there for you and even if they disagree with the decisions you make they will help you out.
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Okay, so basically accidents happen. It is a part of life. Ask anyone that has been in a car accident, it's not as if they woke up one morning and decided "I think I'm going to crash my car today." Just like I'm sure the young soon to be mother didn't wake up and say "I think I'm going to get pregnant today, that sounds like a fabulous idea that's surely going to enhance my life." Like really people, obviously we all know that NOT DOING IT will prevent pregnancy but it's a little late for telling her to do that... duh. The fact that she is able to own up to her mistake and handle the consequences of her actions in a mature manner is highly respectable. I do believe what makes me laugh the most is the comments on self respect. Let me fill you in on a little secret... Self respect is given to a person by them "self", hence the term "self respect". You have no absolutely no right at all to tell her whether or not she respects herself. That is not your place. I also do not believe this article intent was to glorify or bring attention to a particular individual. It's a human interests piece that is honest and tells the truth. Sex is happening everywhere whether you think it's right or not. Educating the public on the happenings of the community is not a total waste (not waist, that would be the midsection of your body, so much for your glorious college education.) I personally have chosen not to have sex until I am married, but that does not give me the right to tell others what I think they should do. Just like you do not have the right to tell people what do to. It's their life. Their decision. And I know you think her terrible decision is going to make you as taxpayers foot the bill for all her expenses, but I think you should know all the facts and know everything about her personal situation before you make those kinds of accusations.
----
Members of class of '09. "
Now, my friends and I graduated this past year at Benson and we wanted to share our opinions.
-----
I think it's quite humorous to read the opinions of these "concerned citizens." Unless you don't have a heart, you should definitely have some type of sympathy for this student. Even though she made a mistake, she's paying for it now and I personally feel pretty bad for her. I'm not a virgin and I cannot even imagine how hard it would be to have a kid. However, I do know that she's making the right decision by keeping her baby. I'm sure that half, if not all, of the rude people who posted comments have never been in her shoes. So they have no right to say how "disgusting" and "stupid" she is. On the other hand, I do believe that everyone should wait until they are married. It is a very special thing and I do know how easy it is to assume you're in love when you're really not. My advice is to not do anything when you're in high school because you're still so young and learning about yourself. I can almost guarantee that the person you "love" in high school is not the person you'll end up with in the future. Buuuuuut, if you are having sex you should definitely tell your family and use protection.
-----
I think that people shouldn't be judging her for getting pregnant and saying rude things about it. It was her own decision to have sex and now she has to face the consequences. She is now going to become a mom instead of getting an abortion or giving it up for adoption and I think that it is going to be hard for her but I think she can do it. I really don't think that this was her idea to write this article and I don't think that she was trying to get attention or get things from people. If others want to give her things and help her out that's their decision not yours. And just because you have sex doesn't mean you don't have self respect. I think that if you are going to have sex you should use protection and I also think you should talk and be open with your parents about it. Whatever you do your parents will always be there for you and even if they disagree with the decisions you make they will help you out.
----
Okay, so basically accidents happen. It is a part of life. Ask anyone that has been in a car accident, it's not as if they woke up one morning and decided "I think I'm going to crash my car today." Just like I'm sure the young soon to be mother didn't wake up and say "I think I'm going to get pregnant today, that sounds like a fabulous idea that's surely going to enhance my life." Like really people, obviously we all know that NOT DOING IT will prevent pregnancy but it's a little late for telling her to do that... duh. The fact that she is able to own up to her mistake and handle the consequences of her actions in a mature manner is highly respectable. I do believe what makes me laugh the most is the comments on self respect. Let me fill you in on a little secret... Self respect is given to a person by them "self", hence the term "self respect". You have no absolutely no right at all to tell her whether or not she respects herself. That is not your place. I also do not believe this article intent was to glorify or bring attention to a particular individual. It's a human interests piece that is honest and tells the truth. Sex is happening everywhere whether you think it's right or not. Educating the public on the happenings of the community is not a total waste (not waist, that would be the midsection of your body, so much for your glorious college education.) I personally have chosen not to have sex until I am married, but that does not give me the right to tell others what I think they should do. Just like you do not have the right to tell people what do to. It's their life. Their decision. And I know you think her terrible decision is going to make you as taxpayers foot the bill for all her expenses, but I think you should know all the facts and know everything about her personal situation before you make those kinds of accusations.
----
Members of class of '09. "
teenage mom wrote on Jul 30, 2009 11:40 PM:
" why is the girl face not pictured?? she wants to put her business out there why not own it all? I am shocked that this is in the paper to begin with but with that said.... I myself went to benson got pregnant 2 months in to my junior year because i was stupid and messing around not protecting myself. as soon as i found out i enrolled in night school also. I went to day school, night school and worked. I completed my junior and senior year in 4 months. busted my butt to make sure i could take care of the baby that i was having. it was hard. I have NEVER received any form of state "help". girls think that having sex will make the boy "love" them and stay with them grow up you need to love yourself. have fun in school go to college travel do something with your life before you do something that will change your live forever. "
Blah blah blah wrote on Aug 1, 2009 1:13 PM:
" "To Honestly" that's right you three received your diplomas and know everything there is to know in the big world! Self respect does start with oneself and when you respect yourself enough you DON"T allow things like this to happen and you sure DON'T choose to have unprotected sex. She was old enough to make the RIGHT choice and did not. Another thing there is NO control over a car accident happening but you do control whether or not to use protection during sex. It's all about doing what's RIGHT and knowing what is WRONG. She had a choice. "
mom at 17 too wrote on Jul 22, 2009 11:04 AM: